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All of your actions are rooted in your belief system. Although most of your beliefs were formed as a child, they are in fact a choice. If you do not like what you believe, you can change it. As an adult, you have full control of your beliefs. In order to change, however, you must take a long, scrutinizing look at your particular belief structure.
Probe closely into your childhood beliefs. Look for the strong messages you received as a child. You may not yet realize that these strong messages usually constitute a major portion of your core belief structure and hold an incredible amount of power. Write these beliefs, or messages, down on paper in a list form. Keep the sentences short for easy reading. Again, you are searching for the core or foundation of a belief, not the philosophy behind it. After you have completed your list, write down what you would rather believe, what you would rather have heard as a child. This is the time to be co-creative and to use your imagination to construct a list that is ideal. Create the perfect God in your mind and on the paper-a belief system that will support you, love you, and work for you, not against you. There are no rules, except that you do this exercise in its entirety.
The following is a composite of the common belief statements I hear from my clients:
Common Beliefs about God from Childhood
1. God is external, lives in heaven, and is separate from myself.
2. God is male and has male characteristics.
3. God has lots of rules. I had better not break a rule or I will be punished.
4. God does not always give me what I want. I have to deserve it, and if I mess up, He will hold it against me.
5. I can only pray for the will of God. If my prayer does not line up with His will, my prayer will not be answered.
6. I am selfish if I pray for myself and God does not like it when I do. Besides, I am too unworthy to pray for myself.
7. God punishes me and withholds my prayers to teach me a lesson. I deserve hard lessons.
8. God gets disappointed in my behavior.
9. God has human feelings such as anger, disappointment, revenge, and judgment.
10. There is only one way to God and heaven, and that is through Christianity.
11. All things in the Bible are true in the literal sense.
12. I need to be respectful of God. If I do not pray "right," my prayers will not be answered.
13. God watches over me with a critical eye, seeing all the things I do. He waits for me to mess up, so that he can teach me another lesson.
14. It will be difficult to enter heaven if I do not keep God first and follow the rules.
15. I deserve to have it tough in life because I have done lots of bad things.
